Hell-O

They say the only way to Heaven is to go through some Hell. But what if you are destine to just stay in Hell. Life is not getting any simpler here. What to do, what to do. I find myself recently back up by endless amounts of unfinished paper work. The only thing that makes my happy now is my camera. I don't know where I am going, just random talk. Going to the first 'Stros game this Saturday, should be a blasty blast...we are starting off bad, not since the year I was born we started off this bad. Damn you Tessa and your Cardinals. I hope things get better, not just for me, but out there too. They say that every empire must come to an end. The Romans, the Greeks, the Mongolians, the British. I think it just be our turn. Cause when America sneezes, the world gets the flu.

Christmas Trees, Dates and Women

• A Christmas tree is ready when you go to pick it up.
• A Christmas tree won't retaliate if you dump it after a month.
• You don't need a clever line to pick up a Christmas tree.
• You can fondle a tree before you take it home.
• A Christmas tree doesn't mind you looking under it.
• A Christmas tree doesn't become envious around bigger trees. This would be known as treeness envy.
• A Christmas tree doesn't go completely to pieces if you mishandle its balls.
• You don't have to worry about who else has had your tree.
• A Christmas tree doesn't worry about how many others you've had.
• A Christmas tree doesn't object to exotic electrical appliances.
• A Christmas tree doesn't think your a whacko if it finds an artificial tree in your closet.
• The tree doesn't get upset when you tie it up and put it in the trunk to take it home.

Why Christmas Trees are better than women:

• Your Christmas Tree never makes fun of you for having another fake one in the closet.
• You never have to sit there and wait 20-minutes while you Christmas Tree finishes getting ready for the big company Christmas Party!
• You pick out your Christmas Trees by groping them all over and feeling around the base.
• How may times have you heard a Christmas Tree complain that all you do on Sunday is lie-around all day, watching football, and drinking beer.
• When you've had enough of your Christmas Tree, all you have to do is drag it out in to the woods, or toss it on the curb to have it hauled away.
• Your Christmas Tree never orders the lobster brisk and champaign. All it wants is water!
• It doesn't matter what a Christmas Tree wears, they always look fat in it! (So the hell cares?)
• Your Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas Trees you've had in the pat. (Big added bonus)
• Unlike women -- Christmas Trees cannot run away when they first spot my face.

SCATTERGORIES

SCATTERGORIES. ..it's harder than it looks! Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things.. nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.


WHAT IS YOUR NAME:
Jon

BOYS NAME:
Josh

4 LETTER WORD:
Joke

GIRL NAME:
Jane

OCCUPATION:
Janitor

COLOR:
Jade

SOMETHING YOU WEAR:
Jeans

BEVERAGE:
Juice

FOOD:
Jalapeno

SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM:
Jar...to put cotton balls in or q-tips or what ever

A PLACE :
Jacksonville

REASON FOR BEING LATE:
Jam..traffic jam that is

SOMETHING YOU SHOUT:
JUMP!

Taking Notes

THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

1. Why it's good to have five pair of black shoes?
   
2. The difference between cream, ivory and off-white.
   
3. Fat clothes.
   
4. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
   
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
   
6. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
   
7. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
   
8. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.
   
9. Other women.
   

Drum Line

Well may be she isn't misunderstood. Damn she got on my nerves today, contradicting every thing I said.  5 across the eyes! Is what I felt like giving her, but I can't slap her...not at work. A lot of us got off early cause it rained off and on, so there was not a high ticket sell and let us off early. As we were walking in the cars we heard this giant thud, then another, and another. Shit, I really thought there was a fucking T-Rex from the museum behind me. Nope, the U Theater of Taiwan was practicing for the weekend. So we stayed and watch them rehearsed. It was cool. We got to sit right up front and hear them play the giant drums. They even joked with us. Check them out!

U Theatre of Taiwan

No class?

I've been waiting at the door since 8 this morning, 8:30, no one is here? Where is my class, it is Thursday...right? Well.. So Ike has really fucked up Body Worlds, no one is coming to the museum, we extended our hours till 9pm, and only 20 people have showed up this week. Yeah I know, easy money, but I need some stimulus. For 5 hours I sat and waited for people to take their tickets. I found out that I weigh 188.5 lbs. There's this scale that is prompt across my station. I went to check it out, put a quarter in and it weighs you, then tells your weight on the other planets and the moon. On Jupiter I would weigh 400 lbs, and the Moon I think was 27lbs. Wow, 188.5 lbs. Thats 21.5 pounds I have lost since last year...but doing what? I guess all the running/walking at Memorial paid off, but I feel any different. Compare that to high school...almost 300 lbs! Yeah I know, jaw dropper, so thats what, a retail difference of... 111.5 lbs... Bob Barker! Tell me what I've won!

Little by little I've been talking to Clair, she's going to ACL, damn her. She's the mini punk rocker chick that I orientated when she came to UHD for Freshmen Orientation. Whoa speaking of Clair, now i can watch Heroes, since work made me miss it this Monday.

What were the odds

Your Penis Name Is...

Light Saber

Penis Name Generator

Ahh, support.

So I can't sleep any more, I guess it's the anticipation of the new job.  I went to target around 6pm. Pat from the museum said to come in business casual for the first day.  So I went and bought a whole new outfit. Black polo, khaki pants, belt, socks, and some boxer brief trunks. Took a shower a while ago and put the new trunks on. I notice something or rather felt different. They have added "the pouch"! The people at the Merona have finally come to their senses and added the "ball pouch".  Let me tell you ladies, its like a bra for your balls. Support and the lift, no more squishing, tugging, pinching. The pouch is made of stretch fabric for the most maximum comfort.  No more reaching for the "cell phone routine" where as I really putting my hand in my pockets to adjust myself.  Men I advise you to get some, they come in a pair of 3 at target with a cool swanky modern design, nothing gay. Make sure you get the contoured pouch for enhanced fit and support. Only at Target. 

The Universe Unfolds

HA!!! Now it's their turn to see what it feels like. Back stab by your own family. This is what they get from stealing from my brother and I. Too scared to sleep in their own house. You gotta love Karma. I knew...I just sat and waited patiently,p the higher one will take care of it all. Do I feel sorry..no. But did they...did they feel sorry when they stole from my brother and I, all that money we worked for, they take to "shoot up", did they feel sorry when they broke in and order $300 worth of porn of the cable...no. Do I care what happens to them...no. They are nothing to me. But I do feel sorry for their soul.

El Scorcho

That's how I feel this past week. The past week was an all week long orientation for freshman...and to add, a 2 2-hour classes after the program everyday last week. I haven't had time to read the readings so I've been cheating on Sparknotes.com. Hehe. I didn't even have time to study more my midterm that was today. I was given a 5 sheet study guide and I did it yesterday and todaythat , was for my Studies in Dramatic Literature class. Then I had a mid term paper for my Philosophy class. Panicking all weekend for my Lit class, the mid term was like putting butter on toast. I can't believe none of that stuff on the study guide was on the exam; instead we were to write our opinions of the plays.

I just got an email on my Philosophy class saying it was cancelled! Uhg the fatherless sleep I did to write that paper all night last night.

Friday midnight the premier of The Dark Knight...and let me tell you they really mean Dark. This ain't your daddy's Batman. No cheesy comic lines like the last 2 movies by Joel Schumacher. That’s right no stupid lasers lighting strobes, no neon fluorescent lighting like your on ecstasy, and the best part, there are no damn nipples on the Bat suit.

Unlike the 89 Joker a happy-insane clown, Dark Knight’s is an insane-happy clown. Yes I admit I was skeptical about Ledgers performance. The entire buzz about him doing a good job and getting an Oscar Nominee seems really redundant. If they are saying this to sympathize with his death then they are wrong. You can’t play this by ear; you have to see this movie to make the call. I saw it, and I think he did a damn good job. I didn’t have clown phobia before, but after that movie I might just have picked up a case of it. He’s dark, twisted, and insane. Just like the comic book, unlike the other Jokers they’re just laughing and dancing on the rooftop. This Joker goes beyond that. Yeah it was long but the plot made up for it. It acutely lays down the foundations for the battle that is soon to come.

This is not a super hero movie, this is The Dark Knight.

I advise you to see it as many times as you can, especially at your local I-Max theater.

“Why so serious?” Because it is that damn good.

Saturday night, they broke in to my mom’s car. I figure that who ever did it was watching in the parking lot a club they were at. The open the trunk by smashing the window and took my moms purse. The purse that had all credit cars, money, account info, and camera, and phone. They had used one of the cards to put gas in their car right across the street of the club.

If you’re over 29…stay your ass home. What business dose a 44 yr old doing at a club. Stay home watch a movie..or start working on creating a family.

Update on myself

1. So I got a B in my Intro to Philosophy class.
2. Summer 2 is hectic, Studies in Dramatic Literature from 2:45 - 4:45 and Morals, Issues, and Ethics from 5:30 - 7:30. They seem okay.
   
3. Talked to my academic adviser and he gave me some info on the trip to London...that will include PARIS!!! Heck yeah I'm signing up!
4. The nerdy hot chick in my Lit class. Every time I enter the building from the O'Kane Theater she is just standing there waiting. So when I walked in to class I felt eyes...I turned to the side and there she was.
   
5. This other girl who probably thinks I'm stalking her is in both of my classes. I sat next to her for the first class. Once that was over I went to the book store to get my book, and I stood behind her in line to pay. I went to the food court to eat my snack and I not knowing, i sat to the table in front of here. Then I went to the next class where I sat next her to again. Creepy on my part.
   
6. A lot of reading this summer 2...but its the Greek tragedy plays, love those. Especially the back stabbing families.
7. I just realized that I numbered these instead of bullets.
   
8. THE DARK NIGHT is almost here, midnight showing of course.
   
9. The car has been acting up. It's like it is struggling to live.
10. The smoothie I am eating is very tasty.
    

6 things she loves about you

NOT SURE I TRUST THIS… BUT HERE YA GO

6 things she loves about you :

• She loves that you're a man of few words. It's no secret that women love to communicate with the men in their lives. "Women like to connect, and when that happens, they will melt," says Emerson E. Eggerichs, Ph.D., author of Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs. Of course, when most men hear that, they cringe, thinking it means long, drawn-out talks about every feeling either of you has ever had. Wrong! According to Eggerichs, women don't need lots of verbiage from you. The truth is, she can get the same communication from you via eye contact - without a single word being uttered. Simply stand face-to-face with her, look into her eyes, and show your affection with a small nonsexual gesture - say, holding her arm or caressing her face.

• She loves your hairy body -- really! Your what?! That's right, go ahead and cancel that back-waxing appointment. A study at the Zoological Society of San Diego (of people!) revealed that women are more attracted to men with furry bods, regardless of the silhouette. Scientists theorize that body hair advertises good health and active hormones, making it a positive sign in the selection of a sexual mate.

• She loves your unnatural emotional attachment to your team. Most men learn by their teens to downplay their obsession with professional sports in front of the ladies. But David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life, says that revealing certain elements of your big-league insanity to a woman will make her feel more connected to you.
  

• She loves when you act tough. While women often want an evolved, emotionally available man these days, putting a little "wild man" demeanor in your repertoire can equal popularity on the dating scene. "Most women want bad-boy qualities so they don't have to act perfect all the time," says Nancy Slotnick, author of Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less. After all, if a woman is afraid to be anything less than perfect in front of you, your relationship will be stifled and you'll both end up bored.

• She loves your artsy side. You don't need a fat paycheck to appeal to the ladies. They actually find the "I'm working on a screenplay" lifestyle alluring. A recent study found that artists and poets had had a total of four to ten sexual partners, while people with less creative jobs had three. According to the study's author, Daniel Nettle, Ph.D., a psychology lecturer at Newcastle University, creative people tend to be charismatic and their artistic pursuits are particularly interesting to others. The study also ound that the number of sexual partners an artsy type had increased when he spent more time on creative, right-brained pursuits.

• She loves your geeky electronics obsession. Your wall of speaker cords. Your closet full of video games. Your wireless universe. Believe it or not, the very things that women roll their eyes about can also be aphrodisiacs. "When a guy shows a woman some new gadget, it shows his intelligence," says Andrea Miller, founder and CEO of Tango, a magazine about love. "It's also always attractive when someone has a passion."

FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY

Tomorrow is a busy day:

1. Jog at Memorial
2. Go to school and order new ID.
3. Downtown Library and get a library card.
4. Study for final.
5. Shop at Sam's.

Empty

It's strange. When my parents were married I had no real connection with my parents. But now, I have a lasso around my mom. She left at 8pm, now the house is empty for another few weeks. I really had a blast when she stayed the weekend. Now that I think about, my brother got along for once. That never happens. She left a good idea in me. Lets just say...moving to mid-town? I donno, she said Sunday night before bed, that I should look into it.

If you only know the living conditions my brother and I are in now. But thats a different story for another time...and I need to find a violin to play when you read that blog. Short story, we have people coming in and mooching off of us. Yeah so that means grandma is gonna have to stand up for herself and tell those crack heads to FUCK OFF, and stop using her.

Again another time.

Orientation...its gonna be a long day tomorrow.

You know its summer time when....

...a Junebug flies in to your mouth!!!

Yeah that make 5 bugs that have flown in to my mouth...don't ask.

Phyllophaga is a very large genus (more than 260 species) of New World scarab beetles in the subfamily Melolonthinae. Common names for this genus and many other related genera in the subfamily Melolonthinae are May beetles, June bugs, and June beetles. They are medium to large in size (8-25 mm) and are blackish or reddish-brown in colour, without prominent markings, and often rather hairy ventrally. These beetles are nocturnal, coming to lights in great numbers. The adults are chafers, feeding on foliage of trees and shrubs. They may cause significant damage when emerging in large numbers. The larvae (called white grubs) feed on the roots of grasses and other plants. The insects pupate underground in the fall and emerge as adults the following spring. To test for the presence of these beetles, one can drench an area of lawn with water and the larvae will emerge at the surface.

Flies in the family Pyrgotidae are endoparasitoids of these and related beetles; the females pursue the beetles in flight, laying an egg on the beetle's back under the elytra where the beetle cannot reach it. The egg hatches and the fly larva enters the body cavity of the beetle, feeding and eventually killing the host before pupating. Wasps in numerous families are parasitoids of Phyllophaga grubs, including Pelecinidae, Scoliidae, and Tiphiidae.

The generic name is derived from the Greek words phyllon (φυλλον), which means "leaf", and phagos (φαγος), which means "eater", with a feminine ending.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllophaga_(genus))

Messing around

Apifiny

So if you know me quit well, I'm not a religious spectator. Yeah I go to church every now and then, only because it's tradition. I believe that religion was created only as a scare tactic...if you do that you'll go to Hell. Religion is here only for order. I don't really believe that there was a man who did all these things that they said he did. I think there was a man..Jesus or not, who did good things, but people have extremely exaggerated the stories. But I do believe that there is a Higher Power that moves us on this game board of Life. Today I read a book that further convince me that there is a higher being out there.

Rene Descartes’ "Meditations". Descartes...uh..pronounce Day-cart...yeah I know....those crazy French, when will they ever learned. So back to the story, Descartes was a French philosopher, a number cruncher (mathematician) an a scientist during the Renaissance era.

One day he decided, what if what I know is nothing but bull plop. How do I know that the knowledge's that was taught to me was tainted and biased...how do I know that all of this is real, and not being controlled by someone else...talk about a Matrix freak out.

Becoming over stimulated and because Starbucks will not be invented in another 3000 years,he lock himself up in a cabin, far from society...all to think...is this real, or am I a schizo.

He did 3 types of meditations...but the one that changed my opinion was the last one. The questioning of Gods existence.

And here it is in 5 easy steps:

I. I have an idea of a perfect being...in this case God.

II. In every cause there must be as much reality in effect, or for every action there should be a equal reaction. Meaning that if I flick you in the ear, you ear will slightly bend and return to normal, that is an equal reaction. An unequal reaction is if I flick your ear, and it completely rips off, that is not an equal reaction. So we as humans don't have this type of power because we are not gods, we are...

III. Imperfect. Humans make mistakes, only the perfect being never makes a mistake.

IV. Given that what number 3 says, then I can not not do number 1. Humans are imperfect, so how can we have an idea of a perfect god? We each have our own biased image of God. So if we can't raise an idea of a perfect God then a perfect being must of put that perfect idea in our minds.

V. Given that of number 2 God must exsit, because only a perfect being can have an unequal action...like putting and idea in ones mind, and imperfect person can not physically do this. Opening ones skull and implanting and idea in the actual brain would likely kill at this time period. Only God can do this without opening the skull and harming the person.

So, this argument has gotten to make me a believer. There is a higher power out there.

Philosophy...IT'S THE SHITZ!!!

Summer so far

Quite. Really nothing, no Greece trip like last summer, or Vegas. I just realized that having no job sucks. It sucks big salty balls. I thought I would have time to do things, but it's too much time. When I was working I'd wake up at 7:30 am ready for school for 6 hours 4 hours working , home by 8, dinner, school readings and then sleep by 11pm.

Now its like wake up at 9am, read todays school readings. Leave the house by 11, get to school for class from 12:30-2. Surf the net in Niki's office. Wait for Kara my walking buddy at 4 and home by 4:15. From 5pm till 1am I have nothing to do! And It's killing me!!!

I tired the TV thing but I just don't like it one bit. If I read the readings for next class then I won't have anything to do to all day next day.

Any one got any hints.

Web Junk

You really are what you eat

So just to give you a heads up...I buy banana nut bread at Starbucks every other day.


Breakfast
Women who love cherries with their morning meal can be unrealistic about love relationships. But those who love banana nut bread crave physical contact and enjoy sexual fantasies. Men who enjoy cafe au lait in the mornings are traditionalists who lack ambition. Guys who breakfast on pink grapefruit are sexually aggressive and impulsively dive into love relationships.

Snacks
Both men and women popcorn eaters are usually quite successful in their careers but modest about their accomplishments. Potato chip addicts are also high-achievers, while pretzel lovers are trendy and full of fun. Women who eat nuts are easygoing. Men who enjoy snack crackers are deep thinkers.

Fruits and Veggies
Men who favor strawberries are week Willies who need to be dominated. People who love fresh apples and corn on the cob are hard working and determined to reach their dreams. Fruit lovers who avoid veggies are tough minded leaders, but vegetable eaters who dislike fruit are conscientious and thoughtful of others.

Ice Cream
Both sexes who prefer vanilla need the security of a devoted relationship. Mint chocolate chip eaters are so fearful love won't last that they often sabotage their relationships. Coffee ice cream lovers are adventurous people who live in the moment. Women who enjoy double chocolate will do anything to gain the spotlight, while folks who prefer strawberry are team players. They are loyal once they fall in love.