Talk about bad luck

Dumbest Guy Ever on Wheel of Fortune - Watch more free videos

A girls mind

Finally a video to explain to us guys what really goes on in a girls mind when she is shopping for shoes.

It's a shark thang

So...if you've been living under a rock this week then your missing the once a year phenomena SHARK WEEK on the Discovery Channel. Yeah that's right. Shark Week. Lucky you, there are 3 days left.

Check you local listings.

Matty Boy

My little cousin is Autistic and he recently did a painting entitled "Horses in Heaven". It is now on the Autism Society of America web site. Check it out here.

The Half-Blooded Prince is here!!!

So click on Professor Dumbledore, it will take to to the site and then click on the first video!!!

Just trying to be a "Simple Man"

For the past weeks I have been going to bed angry, I know it's bad for the soul. It's just the fact that they know what they did and they won't fess up to it...but it will come. Their day is reckoning.

Here is another song that clams me down.



"Troubles will come, and they will pass....and don't forget that there is someone up above."

Nozzle Rage

The Nipple Song

Well no, but it sure does sound like it. Filmed in Houston.




I really want some butter head now!!!

Punk Sheek

Punk Sheek is a term I have created to describe music that's sung by a chick. It's usually the "In your face" and played during the run way of a fashion show. Here some examples:

Shiny Toy Guns: Le Disko.....note there is a lady that turns in to a spider... :(

The Ting Tings: Shut Up and Let Me Go.

Le Tigre: TKO























Whats happening to music???

Shelterporn

"Herman"
Red and black Sharpie marker
2004

Preface

Okay I got some time.

My grandma has 5 kids, my mom the oldest, aunt #1, uncle #1, and twins uncle #2 and aunt #2.

Aunt 2 has been the black sheep of the family. She cut class, got pregnant around 15/16, dropped out, had another baby a year later with a different man, another kid 3 years later with a different man.

She finally got married 7 years ago to this guy. My uncles new that he was bad news...but for some reason, my aunt has been attracted to those type of men. After a year of marriage they moved in a house down the street from us. And for some reason they stop working. She had one more kid, and then she had another but that was a still born. So 4 kids from 4 different men. The guy she married also had 3 kids from his first marriage, 2 of them are out of school and working and the youngest is a drop out.

Well her kid the now 18 year old dropped out of school as well. The oldest finally made it out of high school and is the only one working.

5 years and no one has worked...

So they pay the house with the drugs they deal, come to our house and take the food we bought and eat it.

My cousin who has dropped out has broken into our house several times and stolen money from us. He's been in jail a few times.

But that's who they are.


Last Sunday his step dad was pissed off and choked him out. He called the cops and they took him. Now he is saying he is gonna kick every one out of the house and has put an hit on my cousin. So they're scared and they been hanging at our house since then. That's the reason why my brother and I have to leave. But why, if they don't want to work then why should they move in. How are they gonna help and pay the bills.

Now my camera is gone, he has a new tattoo, such a mess now.

Back to reality

Back...but like always the problems are still here. And they continue to grow. Friday as we were heading out. My mom tells me to get my camera. So I search for it. I remember that I put it in my top dresser. The other night I took it to school to print out the pictures I had taken of my cousin. He and his step-father got in to an argument and he choked him out. (This is the reason why I might be leaving) I printed them out so he can take them to court on Friday. I open the top dresser and I parted my sea of boxer-briefs and no camera...I looked in my back pack, my closet, other dresser shelves, under my bed....nothing. It was gone. I was soooo pissed. It was my brothers birthday and I didn't want to make a scene. So I told my grandma...Sunday. Who ever took my camera, they've got till Sunday...or hell will be brought. (Still no camera). Once I found out that they serve free alcoholic beverages at the casino, I supressed my anger with a few Long Island. Spent the night and I was fine. On the way home my Aunt called me. She told my that my cousin has a brand new tattoo. The skyline of downtown Houston has been engraved on his entire stomach....so can you put two and two together? My digital camera is missing, some one gets a new $100 tattoo. Where did he get the money? He droppedout of school at 17 and has not even had a job in his life. My aunt did ask him how or where did he get to money to do that. His response was "My friend did it for free."

Fuck that...no one is gonna waste their supply and matierals on an tattoo that big.


But my uncle's girlfriend that came with us did bring her camera, so pictures later.

Tomorrow I'm gonna drive in the Hights and look around.

Good night.

Mini vacation badly needed

I am out!!! Headed for Louisiana for the weekend. Why you ask? Andrew is 21 today and he wants to burn a hole in his wallet. Lake Charles it is, to L'Auberge (La-ber-sh)...crazy French.

Thinking It Out - with B and J

We have seen The Joker destroy half of Gotham City. But now he is committed to make sure people know the consiquence of the choices they make. He as teamed up with Batman in these short public awareness videos. Check them out.

Sexual Harassment
Batman and Joker explain office etiquette.

Respect
Batman and Joker remind us that respect is a two way street.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

UV Protection
Batman and Joker explain the importance of sunscreen

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Dark Knight PSA: Heavy Lifting
Batman shows Joker the importance of lifting with the legs.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Dark Knight PSA: Appreciating Other Cultures
Batman and Joker take a tour of our global village.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Dark Knight PSA: Bike Safety
Batman stops Joker from making a deadly mistake.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Mother Mary confort me

This is the only thing that is keeping me from losing it.

Vacancy

It's finally time. But to where? All I know is it's very soon. I'm not happy, I did not want to leave under these types of family matters. But...at least I won't have to see THEM any more.

Now I know why God created Coldplay...first I thought because God was gay...but no. They sing what you feel. And I feel like I need some fix'n.

The Universe Unfolds

HA!!! Now it's their turn to see what it feels like. Back stab by your own family. This is what they get from stealing from my brother and I. Too scared to sleep in their own house. You gotta love Karma. I knew...I just sat and waited patiently,p the higher one will take care of it all. Do I feel sorry..no. But did they...did they feel sorry when they stole from my brother and I, all that money we worked for, they take to "shoot up", did they feel sorry when they broke in and order $300 worth of porn of the cable...no. Do I care what happens to them...no. They are nothing to me. But I do feel sorry for their soul.

El Scorcho

That's how I feel this past week. The past week was an all week long orientation for freshman...and to add, a 2 2-hour classes after the program everyday last week. I haven't had time to read the readings so I've been cheating on Sparknotes.com. Hehe. I didn't even have time to study more my midterm that was today. I was given a 5 sheet study guide and I did it yesterday and todaythat , was for my Studies in Dramatic Literature class. Then I had a mid term paper for my Philosophy class. Panicking all weekend for my Lit class, the mid term was like putting butter on toast. I can't believe none of that stuff on the study guide was on the exam; instead we were to write our opinions of the plays.

I just got an email on my Philosophy class saying it was cancelled! Uhg the fatherless sleep I did to write that paper all night last night.

Friday midnight the premier of The Dark Knight...and let me tell you they really mean Dark. This ain't your daddy's Batman. No cheesy comic lines like the last 2 movies by Joel Schumacher. That’s right no stupid lasers lighting strobes, no neon fluorescent lighting like your on ecstasy, and the best part, there are no damn nipples on the Bat suit.

Unlike the 89 Joker a happy-insane clown, Dark Knight’s is an insane-happy clown. Yes I admit I was skeptical about Ledgers performance. The entire buzz about him doing a good job and getting an Oscar Nominee seems really redundant. If they are saying this to sympathize with his death then they are wrong. You can’t play this by ear; you have to see this movie to make the call. I saw it, and I think he did a damn good job. I didn’t have clown phobia before, but after that movie I might just have picked up a case of it. He’s dark, twisted, and insane. Just like the comic book, unlike the other Jokers they’re just laughing and dancing on the rooftop. This Joker goes beyond that. Yeah it was long but the plot made up for it. It acutely lays down the foundations for the battle that is soon to come.

This is not a super hero movie, this is The Dark Knight.

I advise you to see it as many times as you can, especially at your local I-Max theater.

“Why so serious?” Because it is that damn good.

Saturday night, they broke in to my mom’s car. I figure that who ever did it was watching in the parking lot a club they were at. The open the trunk by smashing the window and took my moms purse. The purse that had all credit cars, money, account info, and camera, and phone. They had used one of the cards to put gas in their car right across the street of the club.

If you’re over 29…stay your ass home. What business dose a 44 yr old doing at a club. Stay home watch a movie..or start working on creating a family.

Blah

Last week was busy!!!

Check back tonight to see the drama that went on this weekend. I have a exam that I should be studying for.

Band Geeks Unite

Chillin' like a Villain

VILLAIN: a character(s) whose wickedness of mind, selfishness of character and will to power are sometimes masked by beauty and nobility, while others may rage unmasked. They can be horribly evil or grandiosely funny, but are ultimately tragic.

Moviefone has listed the best 25 Villains of all time....guess who they are some are too old so I just gave them to you.

1. Snake like face man..."He who must not be named."
2. The "Chosen one" who will bring balance to the force.
3. So eager to get her and her little dog too.
4.This person ate some ones liver with fiber beans on the side.
5. Even though this person died this year...he might be up for an Oscar. "Why so serious?"
6. Too old for my generation...Goldfinger, from the Bond films.
7. Didn't see this movie...that guy with the hair from "No Country for Old Men."
8. "Die Hard" the main villain.
9. This guy was creepy, he strapped himself under a car to stalk a family..."Cape Fear"
10. "Mirror Mirror on the Wall"
11. "Night of the Hunter"
12. Same initials as this Mars brand candy that you give out on HALLOWEEN.
13. The Dream Demon
14. Mrs. Iselin...too old for me.
15. Tom Powers of Public Enemy.
16. She is a hard core fan of a famous writer, kidnaps him, breaks his legs, and locks him up in her room.
17. Mrs. Iselin of Marathon Man
18. "I'll be back." His enemy in T-2/
19. "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!!!!!" Crazy ass mom.
20. Super Genius, almost too smart for Superman himself.
21. Dirty cop role gave him and Oscar making him one of the first black dudes to get an Oscar.v"King Kong got nothing on him."
22. P.E.T.A. worst enemy, good thing shes only a cartoon. Just leave them puppies alone.
23. Frank Booth of Blue Velvet.
24. Khan of Star Trek.
25. "Hello Mr. Anderson" This dudes love his sunglasses, always trying to get Neo.




Want the answers?


For the record...#2 should of been #1.
25.

Sunday shelterporn

"Self Portrait"
2006
Pastel pencil and black sharpie on paper unknown
H. Jon-Anthony De La Rosa
Inspired by a hangover.

Artist of the month

CSS

• Cascading Style Sheets (CSS) is a stylesheet language used to describe the presentation of a document written in a markup language. Its most common application is to style web pages written in HTML and XHTML, but the language can be applied to any kind of XML document, including SVG and XUL.
• Cansei de Ser Sexy, Brazilian band from São Paulo. Their songs have an electro/rock sound, and are sung in both English and Portuguese; their lyrics mostly concern pop culture.

I wanna thank Kara for introducing to this under ground band. You may have heard them in an Apple commercial.

Here is their hit single "Music is my hot hot sex"


Check them out at their myspace page.

Relationshits

You can't get any clearer than this.

What your favorite snack might say about you

• You're a dreamer if you prefer sugary cereal, double chocolate brownies and hard candies. Friends and family often catch you with your head in the clouds. You're also very trusting, creative and artistic, believing that life is to be savored.
• You're a diplomat if you prefer gumdrops, ice cream and dips loaded with sour cream. You yearn for tranquility, and you're the one who steps in to settle squabbles between loved ones. Although you have opinions, you never force them on others.
• You're a nonconformist if you prefer dark chocolate, black coffee and sour candies. You're an unconventional person with a supreme confidence in your abilities. You also speak your mind with a refreshing candor that charms others.
• You're a born leader if you prefer potato chips, popcorn and peanuts. You aren't shy about taking charge and your bold attitude attracts others who eagerly follow you, whether at work or at play. People are reassured by your positive perspective.
• You're a risk taker if you prefer salsa, spicy foods and black pepper on everything. You're a passionate, innovative thinker who brings an upbeat, intriguing approach to your job. Others also appreciate your infectious sense of fun.

In class boredom

Huh? Yeah, I dunno either. Ever have those days where it's just not working? The 'ole noodle just isn't functioning properly. The harder you try to focus... the less you actually can focus? I mean in just typing those sentences above... I think I've been distracted by something shiny, one butterfly and one sickly looking bird on the ledge. How bad is that? I would take something for my A.D.D., but I've got to admit... I kind of like it.

Update on myself

1. So I got a B in my Intro to Philosophy class.
2. Summer 2 is hectic, Studies in Dramatic Literature from 2:45 - 4:45 and Morals, Issues, and Ethics from 5:30 - 7:30. They seem okay.
   
3. Talked to my academic adviser and he gave me some info on the trip to London...that will include PARIS!!! Heck yeah I'm signing up!
4. The nerdy hot chick in my Lit class. Every time I enter the building from the O'Kane Theater she is just standing there waiting. So when I walked in to class I felt eyes...I turned to the side and there she was.
   
5. This other girl who probably thinks I'm stalking her is in both of my classes. I sat next to her for the first class. Once that was over I went to the book store to get my book, and I stood behind her in line to pay. I went to the food court to eat my snack and I not knowing, i sat to the table in front of here. Then I went to the next class where I sat next her to again. Creepy on my part.
   
6. A lot of reading this summer 2...but its the Greek tragedy plays, love those. Especially the back stabbing families.
7. I just realized that I numbered these instead of bullets.
   
8. THE DARK NIGHT is almost here, midnight showing of course.
   
9. The car has been acting up. It's like it is struggling to live.
10. The smoothie I am eating is very tasty.
    

I kissed a girl...or dude?

Summer 09

London and Paris!!!

De La Rosa '08

We live in a world that is not safe anymore, where people are unsure about their future. Our country is too busy in affairs of other nations, that is where the problems lie. We need to stop, and look at where this country is headed, help ourselves first then the world. America is not the country it once was. Unsure futures is what Americans have, when will the fat cats in DC come to realize that this country needs help, and not just a economic stimuli check of a band-aid. There needs to be more done. And today my friends I have taken enough, I have seen my fellow Americans struggle just to make a living. It's time for a reformation in D.C. So I am announcing my candidacy for the White House. Yes I know, how can that be? I'm too young, only 24. But maybe that's what we need, a new set of young clear eyes to lead us in a new direction. on A young person who hasn't been corrupt by the capitalist society. Someone who understands the people that will lead this country in 5 -10 years. So I am asking you to join me on the world wide web and help me lead this country back to it's Golden Age. Please view this video and I hope you will march with me. Thank you, and God Bless.

Struggling American just like you,
-H. Jon-Anthony De La Rosa




This posting is 100% fake, I have no idea how to run a country....but wait about 20 years.

Houston...we have art.

Art...the products of human creativity. Street art...Art for the public, created in public places with the aim of getting attention. The purpose of Street Art is to convey information. But some people think Street Art is Graffiti. But Graffiti can be Art too! Graffiti Art...highly expressive painting.

In my last art post I introduce you to Banksy, a London street artist. Well I found one right here, home, in the 2nd Ward of Houston. His name is "GONZO247" and he is a street artist too. He runs Aerosol Warfare, a group who are dedicated to show the talents of street artist across the nation. They have given rise to Texas street artist "Give Up".



Aerosol Warfare's new mission is to make Houston's East End District (my home) the next art pallet. So look out people, and look not in a negative perspective, but in "Aww". Art should be for every one, and not just only those who can have private access to it.

Rock'n on the 4th

Apparently there is a national holiday tomorrow....


Star Spangled Salute
Miller Outdoor Theatre
100 Concert Drive - Hermann Park
Houston, TX 77030
713-533-3276
http://www.milleroutdoortheatre.com/
All performances at Miller Outdoor Theatre are FREE OF CHARGE.

Houston Symphony / Target Summer Symphony Nights - Star Spangled Salute - July 04th 8:00PM
Led by Principal Pops Conductor Michael Krajewski and Kaitlyn Lusk, Vocalist, the Symphony presents a rousing musical salute to Independence Day. The evening concludes with a spectacular fireworks display also featuring Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture with cannons.
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Chevy's Freedom Over Texas
Eleanor Tinsley Park @ Buffalo Bayou
(along Allen Parkway just outside of downtown)
500 Allen Parkway
Houston, TX 77002
713-247-3500
http://www.chevysfreedomovertexas.com
July 4, 2008 from 4:00 to 10:00PM

Chevy's Freedom Over Texas with Fireworks Presented will celebrate America's birthday with a live concert from several well known artists, and the nation's largest land-based fireworks extravaganza. The day will also offer a host of family entertainment, four stages with music ranging from country western and rock n' roll to latin, pop and oldies. Festival-goers can enjoy a mini-auto show, see some of Team Chevy's hottest NASCAR's vehicles, or simply spend the afternoon kicking back at the Bud Light Texas Volleyball Championship Court, watching the men's and women's statewide tournament finals before the concert and fireworks begin. Rides, games, face painting, jugglers and more will keep the kids entertained in the H-E-B All American Kids Zone, and there will be no shortage of great food and beverages throughout the celebration. The Budweiser Beer Garden will offer a wide selection of beverages in a relaxing atmosphere, and Chevy's Liberty Park will also feature unique displays of military artifacts and vehicles including tanks and helicopters, voting booth demonstrations, the Printing Museum of History and much more.
Children under 10 are free ˆ tickets are sold at the gate. For performance times and stage locations and ticket prices, please visit the website for more information.
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HOUSTON SYMPHONY STAR-SPANGLED SALUTE
Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
2005 Lake Robbins Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77380
281-363-3300
http://www.woodlandscenter.org
July 03, 2008 at 8:00 PM

This annual Houston Symphony concert is FREE and features a wide array of patriotic entertainment led by Principal Pops Conductor Michael Krajewski and accompanied by nationally acclaimed vocalist Kaitlyn Lusk. Gates open at 6:30 p.m., so arrive early to claim your perfect spot and participate in the pre-concert activities.
Free Reserved Seating and General Admission Lawn Seating!
=====================================================



Discovery Green Park
1500 McKinney
Houston TX 77010
713-400-7336
http://www.discoverygreen.com/eventscalendar/
All performances at Discovery Green are free.

Red, White and Blue at the Green
Anheuser-Busch Stage and Fondren Performance Space A performance by idol hand, Houston-based original rock band caps off a holiday in the park. Show ends in time to catch the city's official firework celebration on Allen Parkway.

There are many more exciting events scheduled at the new Discovery Green Park, please visit the website calendar for a full listing.

=======================================================

Kemah Boardwalk
8 Waterfront
701 4th Street
Kemah, TX 77565
281-334-9880
http://www.kemahboardwalk.com
July 10th - The Slags (Dance/Rock)

Rock the Dock This music lover's favorite continues each Thursday evening through August. Concerts are held on the Plaza and begin at 6:30PM each week. The tenth annual summer-long music festival provides visitors with a variety of musical entertainment from local and regional bands. Rock the Dock features great Texas sounds including R&B, pop, Rock & Roll and blues. Admission is free. Visit the website for more information.

Fourth of July Fireworks Celebration - 9:30PM
Gather on the boardwalk and enjoy a fabulous fireworks display that will be shot from a barge out over Galveston Bay for everyone to see. Admission is free. Visit the website for more information.

=========================================================

Red, Hot & Blue Festival
The Woodlands Town Center
Waterway Square (at the corner of Lake Robbins and Waterway Avenue)
The Woodlands, TX 77380
281-363-2447
http://www.thewoodlandscvb.com/events.asp
July 4, 2008 - 6 to 10:00 p.m.

The festival will offer Concessions, games and lots of family fun are offered at minimal cost. The 23-minute fireworks show, shot over The Woodlands Town Center, is the second largest in the Greater Houston region, second only to downtown Houston. The soundtrack for The Red, Hot & Blue Festival Fireworks is simulcast on Houston's #1 radio station, Sunny 99.1 Trolleys will be running on July 4 from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. Water taxis will operate along The Woodlands Waterway on July 3rd from 11 am -10 pm and July 4th between 11am and 11pm. Boats will not operate during the fireworks display on July 4th (8:45 pm - 10 pm) but will resume operations after the fireworks have completed.
Admission to the festival is FREE. FREE parking available in the Orange, Yellow, & Green lots along Timberloch Place ˆ Follow Event Parking signs to parking lots. Additional $5 parking available in the Town Center Garage located on Six Pines Drive.

=======================================

Traders Village Summer Concert Series
Traders Village Houston
7979 N. Eldridge Road
Houston, TX 77041
281-890-5500
http://www.tradersvillage.com

The annual Cricket Wireless Summer Concert Series at Houston's Traders Village runs every weekend through August 31st with tons of live music from HonkyTonk and Tejano, to Funk, Cajun and Bluegrass. All concerts begin at noon in the 45,000-square-foot covered Red Expo building at Traders Village, rain or shine. Admission is FREE, just $3 to park.

Performing July 05th - Kelly McQuire (Island Country) and July 06th - Miss Leslie & her Juke Jointers (HonkyTonk).
Call or visit the web site for more information.

=================================================

July 4th Morning Concert and Parade
Market Street - The Woodlands 9595 Six Pines Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77380
281-419-4774
http://www.marketstreet-thewoodlands.com

The Woodlands will host a live performance of The Woodlands Concert Band as it performs a pre-parade show beginning at 8 a.m. in Central Park at Market Street. Families are invited to bring a lawn chair and enjoy a blend of patriotic songs, Dixieland and other contemporary jazz favorites. Market Street also has one of the best seats for viewing the South Montgomery County Fourth of July parade. Before the parade starts, meet Jugglers, Uncle Sam, clowns, Spiderman, Scooby Doo, magicians, Dora the Explorer, Boots the Monkey and many more interesting characters mingling with the crowd. Once The Woodlands Concert Band's performance ends at 9 a.m., stay at Market Street and watch as the procession for the parade makes its way towards Market Street and kicks off the celebration of America's independence with marching bands, classic cars, floats, fire trucks, horses and so much more.
Parking for the parade is available at both Market Street and the Town Center garages at 9595 Six Pines Drive.

===========================================

LaCenterra at Cinco Ranch
23501 Cinco Ranch Blvd, Ste. B200
Katy, TX 77494
281-395-5533
http://www.lacenterra.com/

2nd Annual July 4th Big Backyard Barbecue - 5-10:00PM - Heritage Square
Get ready for great food, live entertainment, fireworks and family fun!
5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m. - CNC Band performs
6:30 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. - Outlaw Lynn and Who's Drivin'
9:30 p.m. - Fireworks spectacular by Texas Lite and Pyro of Houston
Beverage & to-go service available from local cook teams and many LaCenterra restaurants in Heritage Square. Roaming clowns courtesy of Hermes Architects. Additional parking available at Cinco Ranch High School.

Thursday Night Jazz - July 10th 6:00PM - The Tyler Mire Combo
LaCenterra at Cinco Ranch announces hot nights, cool jazz series in heritage square Thursdays through August. Guests are invited to unwind after a long day or ease into the weekend with the smooth stylings of the area's premier jazz musicians. Courtyard performances will take place weather permitting. Show times and performers subject to change. All events are free and open to the public.

There are many more exciting events scheduled at Cinco Ranch, please visit the website for a full listing.

========================================

Houston Chronicle Dollar Concert
Houston Symphony
615 Louisiana Street
Jones Hall
Houston, TX 77002
713-224-7575
www.houstonsymphony.org
July 6, 2008 at 7:30PM

Chase Summer in the City begins with the annual Houston Chronicle Dollar Concert. Experience the wonder of the Symphony for just one dollar per ticket and get a preview of a future star with a featured performance by the Gold Medal Winner of the 2008 Ima Hogg Young Artist Competition.
All Chase Summer in the City performances take place at Jones Hall for the Performing Arts, 615 Louisiana Street. For more information call or visit the website.

Summer I ends

The end of Summer 1 was at 2pm today. The final was easy, maybe it's because I actually studied for this time. Heheh. So..one B and two A's on my papers, my mid term was a B-. The final was ok, I didn't blank out like on the mid term...so I'm thinking a B I want an A, but an B seems more logic.

Now it's on, Summer 2:

Philosophy 3301 Moral Issues (5:30 - 7:30pm) and English 3313 Studies in Dramatic Literature (2:45 - 4:45pm) .




Yesterday Kara and I went to eat a Skeeters at Gulfgate. I've never been there so when I walked in I was shocked that every one who has been there has written their name on the bricks with crayons. I took part in the historic vandalism.

(Herman Jon-Anthony De La Rosa in blue)

Jon


Kara also took part in the tagg'n

Photos by Kara.

A Guide to Buying Men Gifts

Rule #1: When in doubt, buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "Okay. By the way, are you through with my 3/8" socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4: OK so you know the rule about not buying women a vacuum or broom or mop. Yeah its almost the same for men. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he would not have invented jockey shorts.

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a big screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips and flips and flips. Forget the program, your entertainment is watching him have fun!

Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. Men don't stink, we are earthy creatures.

Rule #7: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea Again, no one knows why.

Rule #8: Never buy a man anything and then tell him he should read the instructions because the box says "some assembly required." It will ruin his special day. He will always have parts left over.

Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Home Depot, Lowe's, John Deere, Valley RV Center and Les Schwab Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what the gift is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")

Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook (but they will barbecue). Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #11: Tickets to a New York Giants game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

Rule #12: Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don't know why, please refer to Rule #7 (Remember what happens when he gets a label maker?)

Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says "I love you" like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

How you watch TV and what its says about you

* What I do


The Planner (maps out viewing with a TV schedule)
-- You are a good organizer who schedules your life. You're competent at business and very thorough.

Muncher (snacks while viewing) *
-- You like to combine your pleasures with TV. But people are your greatest pleasure and you're a very good friend and neighbor.

Channel Jumper (shifts stations frequently) *
-- Always looking for something new, interesting and fulfilling, you're very outgoing and very ambitious.

Monopolizer (insists on watching his own choice of shows)
-- You know where you're going and won't let anything stand in your way. When you make a decision, you stick to it.

Bedtime Viewer (likes to watch TV in bed)*
-- You don't take TV too seriously, but use it as an escape to unwind at the end of a busy day. You probably have a dynamic job that leaves you exhausted and watch TV purely for relaxation.

Fact Seeker (watches documentaries and news mostly) *
-- You are a serious no-nonsense type, and you want to use your TV viewing time productively to gather information. Your head rules your life, not your heart.

Sit-Com or Game Show Junkie
-- You're warm and involved with other people, a sociable person who gets along well with everyone. You're likely to be involved in some real-life group game or sport on a regular basis.

Continuous Viewer (spends a lot of time with the TV on)
-- You have a great need for people and a hunger for stimulation.

6 things she loves about you

NOT SURE I TRUST THIS… BUT HERE YA GO

6 things she loves about you :

• She loves that you're a man of few words. It's no secret that women love to communicate with the men in their lives. "Women like to connect, and when that happens, they will melt," says Emerson E. Eggerichs, Ph.D., author of Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs. Of course, when most men hear that, they cringe, thinking it means long, drawn-out talks about every feeling either of you has ever had. Wrong! According to Eggerichs, women don't need lots of verbiage from you. The truth is, she can get the same communication from you via eye contact - without a single word being uttered. Simply stand face-to-face with her, look into her eyes, and show your affection with a small nonsexual gesture - say, holding her arm or caressing her face.

• She loves your hairy body -- really! Your what?! That's right, go ahead and cancel that back-waxing appointment. A study at the Zoological Society of San Diego (of people!) revealed that women are more attracted to men with furry bods, regardless of the silhouette. Scientists theorize that body hair advertises good health and active hormones, making it a positive sign in the selection of a sexual mate.

• She loves your unnatural emotional attachment to your team. Most men learn by their teens to downplay their obsession with professional sports in front of the ladies. But David Wygant, author of Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life, says that revealing certain elements of your big-league insanity to a woman will make her feel more connected to you.
  

• She loves when you act tough. While women often want an evolved, emotionally available man these days, putting a little "wild man" demeanor in your repertoire can equal popularity on the dating scene. "Most women want bad-boy qualities so they don't have to act perfect all the time," says Nancy Slotnick, author of Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less. After all, if a woman is afraid to be anything less than perfect in front of you, your relationship will be stifled and you'll both end up bored.

• She loves your artsy side. You don't need a fat paycheck to appeal to the ladies. They actually find the "I'm working on a screenplay" lifestyle alluring. A recent study found that artists and poets had had a total of four to ten sexual partners, while people with less creative jobs had three. According to the study's author, Daniel Nettle, Ph.D., a psychology lecturer at Newcastle University, creative people tend to be charismatic and their artistic pursuits are particularly interesting to others. The study also ound that the number of sexual partners an artsy type had increased when he spent more time on creative, right-brained pursuits.

• She loves your geeky electronics obsession. Your wall of speaker cords. Your closet full of video games. Your wireless universe. Believe it or not, the very things that women roll their eyes about can also be aphrodisiacs. "When a guy shows a woman some new gadget, it shows his intelligence," says Andrea Miller, founder and CEO of Tango, a magazine about love. "It's also always attractive when someone has a passion."