Tonight!

New Job

So I just got the call from a Patrica from the Houston Museum of Natural Sciences. I got the job. I will be working in guest relations, a position like guest serves or will call, info table, what ever you want to call it. A little light security patrol to make sure kids are not climbing up the T-Rex. Training starts Thurs, from 9am to 4pm. I get 2 free tickets to exhibits each month and I get to bring one guest to the mixers and elixirs parties.

I guess I am really am stuck with it.

My studies in English grammar class...chapter 1...I find this. (click the comic to enlarge.)




Just in case you are new to me, my full name is Herman Jon-Anthony De La Rosa....I have been going by either Jon or Anthony...but never Herman . The secret is out!!!

Mexican 101

Here are some words we Beaners borrow in the English language.


1.Cheese
' Maria likes me, pero Cheese fat.'.

2. Mushroom
' When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.'

3. Shoulder
'My Tia wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn't know how to read so I shoulder.'

4. TEXAS
'My girl always Texas me when I'm n ot home wondering where I'm at! '

5. Herpes
' Me and my girl ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.'

6. July
'Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer!'

7.Rectum
'I had 2 cars pero my wife rectum!'

8. Juarez
'One day my abuelita slapped me and I said juarez your problem?'

9.Chicken
'I was going to go to the store with my wife pero chicken go herself.'

10.Wheelchair
'We only have one empanada left but don't worry wheelchair '

11.Chicken wing
'My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing'

12. Harassment
'My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey harassment nothing to me.'

13. Bishop
'My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop'

14. Body wash
'I want to go to the club but no body wash my kids '

1-800-wah-wah

So apparently Robert Downey Jr. is upset because The Dark Knight has made Iron Man in to scrap metal. Yahoo had interviewed him and he disses the cape crusader.

From Yahoo.com:

"...But looking back on" Iron Man", Downey says he had a feeling it would be successful. "I don't often say that I know how things are going to go, but I did know that 'Iron Man' was going to come out and be received and have the kind of success it did. So it wasn't surprising, but gratifying because it would have been very disappointing if my feeling and my intuition about it hadn't been met by reality - as is often the case."

The actor downplays what the film's success has done for his career at this particular juncture. "I think it's like anything. At a certain point, Favreau and I were invited to a dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Beverly Hills and I felt like they opened the books and we were made guys. There was a lot of like power players there and studio people and that we were sitting, and we left and I felt like we, 'I feel like we were just - like mafia. They just made us.' It was this weird thing too because I don't know if any of us had this experience, but sometimes you go from being in one position to being in another or you have a certain sense of achievement and there's this kind of energy that happens where there literally is an energetic transformation. Then the next day you wake up and it's just another day."

Another day perhaps, but "Iron Man 2" is a topic of conversation, as he and Favreau are currently collaborating on a story for the much anticipated sequel. "Now Justin Theraux who wrote 'Tropic Thunder', is writing it and Jon and I are working on the story with him. It's pretty great and I think it's going to be cool. I think it's going to appropriately well thought out so that we don't forget what got us the response that we appreciated so much, which is, we didn't say, 'Great, now that this is like this, now we're going to twist it and do this with it.' It's now; I'm not saying we're going to do bits. I think more of the same; it is a very rich feel, because it was a very simple movie, if you ask me. It was an origin story."

Which apparently was not the case with the other big summer movie "The Dark Knight". "My whole thing is that that I saw 'The Dark Knight'. I feel like I'm dumb because I feel like I don't get how many things that are so smart. It's like a Ferrari engine of storytelling and script writing and I'm like, 'That's not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.' I loved 'The Prestige' but didn't understand 'The Dark Knight'. Didn't get it, still can't tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character and in the end they need him to be a bad guy. I'm like, 'I get it. This is so high brow and so f--king smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie.' You know what? F-ck DC comics. That's all I have to say and that's where I'm really coming from."

Well I'm sorry that your movie sucked Mr. Downey. Just remember that when Iron Mad debuted in the comic world, he was always a B-rated Superhero. Do your fucking research man. And you don't have to go to F-cking college to see this movie, you just gotta stay of the crack and stop checking you self in to rehab, yeah remember that little part in your life mr.

It's here! Buzzfest XXII

Here is the line up:
Don't know these bands, click the link to hear them.

2:00–2:25 p.m.	Meriwether
2:25–3:05 p.m.	Toadies
3:05–3:30 p.m.	Ludo
3:30–4:15 p.m.	Puddle of Mudd
4:15–4:40 p.m.	Saving Abel
4:40–5:25 p.m.	Papa Roach
5:25–6:00 p.m.	Hawthorne Heights
6:00–7:00 p.m.	Seether
7:00–7:40 p.m.	Earshot
7:40–8:40 p.m.	Staind
8:40–9:20 p.m.	10 Years
9:20–10:45 p.m.	Offspring

94.5 The Buzz

Trouble Maker

You just gotta listen to the lyrics.


- Weezer Lyrics

Not over yet.

Well second day at work, no progress. I was sent to a flea market to get people signed up to vote. I was gonna say something to the new boss but I didn't. But I'm glad that Norma was thinking what I was thinking. A lot of Hispanics go to the flea markets and currently they are the ones who are undocumented. So how is that going to help, you have to be a legal resident to vote in the U.S. and all I got was "No papers". I did not get one person to sign up. I went to the Home Depot down the street, although I still didn't anyone to sign up there, they did take the voter registration mail in cards. Well you can't win all the time.


Classes start all over again tomorrow, but that still doesn't mean that summer is over. A dinner party to attend and laser tag with...Steph!

back track

So this weekend has been busy, when it really should be the calming before the storm, meaning school starting. Today I started my job with Houston Vote...have you registered by the way? I can now help you since I now have been deputized by the Harris County Clerk Office. Any ways, For about 4 hrs I walk around Pasadena putting registration pamphlets on the doors of those who are not registered. It was ok, until when I was almost done. My car wouldn't start...again. It struggled to start, and when I did get it to start, it wouldn't go above 2nd gear. So here I am driving on the major streets only under 20mph. I went to the Wal-Mart in Pasadena so the could see what the problem is...but they didn't have a Auto place...so I had to drive to the Wal-Mart at Almeda, what should of taken 15 minutes...took and hour to get there. Well it's working...for now. I didn't get to do my second part of the job.

But the people with Houston Vote, they all seem nice.

Friday was hectic as well. Went downtown to get deputized, saw a man acting like Jesus. But only wearing a yellow shirt, and shorts. But he was carrying a giant wooden cross on his back. After that went to school to take care of some business. I went by the Bat cave and I was put to work making flyers for the O-Team, but I paid off. The Admissions office had a lunch in, cater by Kelly's Country Cooking. Chicken Fried Stake the size of Texas itself was on the menu, along with the usual southern "fix'ns". 7 different cakes for dessert.

Thursday was the best night. Matt came in from Austin, and the day before Steph :) and I talked all day planing to meet up somewhere. We finally made plans to meet. Dave and Busters was the plan, Matt and Adam came. It was almost like a reunion. What top the night is what I got for Steph. You know that claw machine game you put money in to get prizes. Well at D&B's they have one, but this was a gigantic one with over sized animals. Can you guess who got won her not 1 but 2... yes, 2 sea animals!!! (baby seal and an orca whale) His initials are H.J.A.D.L.R.

Back to work tomorrow.

If you don't use it, you'll lose it.

BENEFITS OF SEX!!


1) Improves your sense of SMELL
2) REDuces risk of heart disease
3) increased weight loss and improves overall fitness
4) Reduces depression
5) Pain relief
6) less COLDS
7) better BLADDER CONTROL (working the muscles there)
8) BETTER TEETH
9) A healthy prostate
10) A LONGER LIFE

Buddies

Matt is in town this week, and I finally talked to Steph. Along with Adam we're all gonna hang out. It's been a very long time since we all got together. Tomorrow night should be a blasty blast.

Communication

No wonder men and women can't communicate. They speak different languages:

Wants and needs (wontz and nedz) n.
Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
Male: Food, sex and beer.

Thingy (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strapfastener on a woman's bra.

Glass ceiling (glas see-ling) n.
Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

Vulnerable (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing ball without a cup.

Communication (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

Commitment (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Making love (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote control (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste (tayst) v.
Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

2 Legends at an end: basebal and tacos

For the second day in the row I attended an Astros game. They did much better today than yesterday, opening the game with a 3 run home run, but before the game took place, they put an end to a number. A number that belonged to a seven-time All-Star Major League baseball player who played his entire 20-year career with the Houston Astros. He stands with 3,060 career hits, the 27th person in that 3000 club and with 291 home runs. 4 time golden glove award winner and 5 time slugger winner. He ranks in 5th in 668 doubles and is the only player in baseball history who has 3000 hits, 600 doubles, 400 stolen bases, and 250 home runs. He broke the modern-era career hit-by-pitch record, 285 times he was hit by a baseball. Ranks 20th on the all time hits list. His first game was June 26 1988 as a catcher then was put on 2nd base in 1992. In 2003 he went to the outfield and then back to 2nd base in 2005. July 24 2007 he said it was time for him to go. He as been with the Astros for 20 seasons, the longest, no other MLB player as ever done that, another record he has set. He finished his career with 3,060 career hits, 668 doubles, 291 home runs, 1175 RBIs, 414 stolen bases, and a .281 batting average. That number was the #7 and it belonged to a man by the name of Craig Biggio and at 12:30, the Astros retired that number, and I was there to see it.


I have just found out that another legend is also being retired. This is not a person but a building that sits on the corner streets of Dumble and Telephone RD. This is the place where many high school students called home, where they came to eat. This place is the Jack in the Box. It's been there since the 70's, and it is a very big deal here. Where will the pot heads go when they need an egg roll to fix their munchies? Where would the local gangsta's convene to establish their shenanigans? And where would the Mexican lady find the 99 cents taco meal plan to feed her 17 kids? Where?

The Love Guru

YOU'RE DATING A LOSER

Here's some advice from Gary Aumiller, PHD, co-author of "Red Flags! How To Know When You're Dating A Loser." The following are guy "imperfections" are too deeply rooted to tweak... though some are actually blessings in disguise.

• He's cheap -- He may not splurge on romantic impulse buys like pricey dinners, but at least he won't piss away his cash or have to hit you up for a few bucks.
• He's too close to his parents -- His mom's constant calls may get annoying, but a dude with strong family ties is more likely to know what it takes to make a relationship work.
• He's a chronic flirt -- A steady guy who is always charming other chicks is showing disrespect for you... not to mention a compulsive need for female attention.
• He's a workaholic -- You might feel lonely when you're home alone while your guy puts in extra time on the job. Still, an ambitious partner is a heck of a lot better than an aimless one.
• He's competitive -- Getting worked up while watching his favorite team blow the game is one thing. Turning every encounter into a challenge means he values winning above all else.

I'm calling it a night, big day tomorrow. It's the very VERY last day of freshman orientation and I have a huge feeling we are gonna get some very last minute freshmen who have not tested as they should of have before they signed up, and some random walk-ins.

Any ways I leave you with a song that has been suck in my head for the past week.

Led-Zeppelin (of course) "10 years gone"





I also found this, The Black Crowes preforming "10 Years Gone" with Jimmy Page (lead guitarist of Led-Zepp) It's freaky that Chris Robinson sounds almost like Plant.

Never Tell a Guy...

1. All the cute things your pet does -- Coddling a pet makes men suspect that your ideal companion is completely dependent upon you for food, lets you dress him up in colorful wool sweaters, and can be castrated if he starts acting too frisky.
2. Your belief in alternative medicine -- No matter how important you may feel it is to share your spiritual side, remember: When you tell us about your experiences with aromatherapy, reflexology, or crystals, all we hear is unstable, unstable, unstable.
3. How impressed you are with what others make -- You don't have to convince us that you're oblivious to material possessions. But ogling a man's paycheck -- ours or somebody else's -- makes us feel like you're attaching our worth to our wallets. And we know there's always going to be someone out there with deeper pockets than ours.
4. How beautiful the scenery is -- When confronted by natural beauty, men prefer to contemplate it in silence. Women, for some reason, feel compelled to talk at just the moment when we most want quiet.
5. Who your favorite celebrities are dating -- As a rule of thumb, unless they're naked, we don't want to know. Men have far too hard a time keeping up with their own relationships; the last thing we want is the responsibility of keeping up with the lives of people we'll never meet.

-Cosmo

Yeah I know it's a chick mag...but us guys like to spy too. Just as you women spy on us reading our Men's Health and Maxim Mags.

YOUR NORMAL GUY

Bernice Kanner's book, "When It Comes to Guys, What's Normal?", lists 21 strange things about otherwise normal guys. So now, if you spot any of these... they won't freak you out.

1. On average a guy spends 730 hours/year thinking about sex; 22 hours actually doing it.
2. The average guy lost his virginity at age 16.
3. A guy has relations with about 14 different women in his life... maybe a few more or a few less.
4. 60% of guys say they've had at least one one-night stand.
5. 42% claim they've coitally experienced two different women on the same day.
6. Men with messy sock drawers have sex 3 times more/month than organized guys.
7. Most guys say that if they could change one thing about themselves, they'd lose weight.
8. 40% of men say the body part I they work on the most is the chest.
9. If stranded on a desert island, what toiletry would you give up? 48% of guys answer soap.
10. 59% of men would rather have more vacation time than a cash bonus.
11. 22% admit to visiting a porn site at work.
12. 75% of guys would rather spend a romantic evening with you than a crazy one with the guys.
13. In his lifetime, a guy falls in love an average of six times.
14. 44% say they've fallen in love at first sight.
15. 10% of men have never done a load of laundry.
16. 40% know that 1/3 of a cup of uncooked rice yields one cup cooked. (28% of women know)
17. Only 38% would be cool with being a stay-at-home dad.
18. More than 50% have had relations in their car. 55% of guys talk to their cars.
19. 54% drink milk or juice straight from the carton... when no one's around.
20. 17% have Googled an ex-girlfriend.

I think #6 is a total lie, but #9 is so true.

Not AB or BB but AA!!!!

With Orientation and the Family Drama, and the Drinking, and the Insomnia, I surely thought I would get an B or A in Philosophy and a B in my English, but no both A! FUCK! I'm so happy, this was one of the hardest semesters ever. But I did it! Ok now it's time to celebrate with a shot!!!

TOO COOL TO BE LOSERS!

Real life Sapranos style

So, I'm in the kitchen making the pasta salad for work and my grandma comes in panic. Oscar is in his house all alone and the police are back. My uncle and grandma talk to the police. The Blue says someone made a call saying that there were drugs being passed out at the house. I'm sure that it is his step brother and sister who did that. They're making the calls to get back for putting their dad in jail. Oscar will spend the night to night.

Twitched Eye

The events in this past week have gotten to me. My left eye is starting to twitch, a sign of a stress burden.

Late Thursday morning I hear banging and screaming at my front door. It was my aunt (crack whore). I thought her husband was beating her on the steps of the house. No. Her crack headed son O.D. on something. I ran to her house to check on him, asked him what happened...His first words were "They tried to take the camera." ...WTF? Then he goes in a daze, looking all around, he started to laugh, pointed to the ceiling while he was on the bathroom floor. The paramedics came. This is what they told him...He was doing something with the dog out side, he fell, came inside to the bathroom and wash is face off, then he started to seizure, foaming of the mouth, eyes rolled back.

I didn't believe anything of it. He was on something and OD, because he came back from the hospital 3 hours later. If he really had a seizure they would of kept him over night, doing all those CTs and MRIs checking his vitals. Theres no way they would of let him out that early.

Later that day I found out that his step dad (the one that beat his ass lass week) called the house and said that Mark took a watch and sold it. It was Andrew's. I was so pissed off. I really thought that I should of let him die that moring...but that would just lower my standers to theirs.

Friday evening I came back from picking up dinner and Mark came up to me, thinking me for calling 911 when he had a "seizure" and said that it was not him who is stealing the stuff from the house. I said what ever and went inside the house.

My grandma told his mom that she does not want him anywhere in this house, not even the grass.

Saturday moring he comes and wants to talk to my grandma out side. Soon I hear him yelling. My Grandma basicly told him that she can't trust him any more. He got mad, started to yell all kinds of shit to her, "I'm not your grandson any more!" He went to his house but then when he reach the front gate he started sreaming and slaming the gates over and over and over.

About 2 hours later he calls to the house and tells my grandma if my uncle is still doing cocaine and hangs up. My grandma then calls them back and tells his mom that she is going to call CPS on their ass. More words are extchanged over the phone.

That was my week

STAY OFF THE DRUGS PEOPLE!!!

Insane Rainbow Conspiracy Lady - Watch more free videos

Can you...hear.......me..........now-WTF?

If you're like me and you have "the network" then you're in for a real treat. Verizon is do this mega promo. The "Can you hear me now" guy and his team of 300, is actually following Verizon Members around town....could I be next...or could you?

Click to see this guy that they followed.

Artist of the Month

Eagles of Death Metal

Eagles of Death Metal (EoDM) is an American band formed by Jesse Hughes and Josh Homme. Despite the name, Eagles of Death Metal is not a death metal band. The music is a blend of bluegrass slide guitar mixed with stripper drum beats and Canned Heat vocals. In other words, Garage Rock Revival.

I want you so hard (boys bad news)

Cherry Cola

Sticky Wicket

Because of the tropical storm that came in to town the other day, things have messed up. The university was closed on Tuesday, so no class, no orientation. Today I went to class and found out that our final was today, or we could take it tomorrow, I also found out that orientation was moved to tomorrow!

I'm sorry but school first. I'm not gonna show up for work tomorrow. If they can't understand that then that's fine, I'm not gonna blow things out of proportion. I just don't understand why couldn't they move it to Monday, instead of the day where the university announced that all finals were gonna be move to Thursday. Tomorrow is the last class day, so next week should of sound better, there is no classes next week.

Yes I do under stand that next week is program Tues - Fri...why not add Monday. I guess they were in a panic to serve the students and that they really look over things twice. It's understandable.

But I'm still not coming tomorrow.

The Vagina....

It's more complicated than I thought. To get that rocket of the launch pad, it takes the right amount of stimuli to get off, and you have to know what and where are the right buttons to push. Women I now have more respect for your va-jay-jays, it is not like our "Apollo" rocket, a sensitive device to the touch. No, the "cupid's cupboard" is not a one unit machine, it is a machine with in machines working together, and even at the best of our times, we men don't always fill your needs. Luckily there was the invention of the sex toy. Yes for you liberated women there is help from the non masculine prospective. But if you are the type that buys the EXTREME stuff and has to hide it, or afraid that some on will find it the there is answer. For those of you who are to embarrassed to buy one, or is willing to try it out mildly, then there is an answer! Yes you might have these toys already lying down the house already, and there are some that are shaped that are unrecognizable, leaving with the WTF or "Don't ask" policy. Here are the top ten sex tools that you can actually keep on your mantlepiece. Click here, and it's not pornographic if that's what you're thinking.

Sleep

So..panic for nothing. I think people blow things way out of proportion. I went to the store to buy water and some canned goods just in case the power went out. But I met my brother there. He bought everything and it's momma. Just a few rain drops this morning nothing big. It's perfect sleeping weather.

A storm is ah brewing

Yep it looks like the Latin machine is headed this way. For some reason I'm not worried, it's not a threat. I think it's because of the shit that has been going down lately. Maybe I'll get lucky, this storm will blow the house down and my brother and I can leave the hood.

Where theres a Will there is a way.

See you there.